When Sex becomes a chores

After years of marriage, the sex ritual can be boring or just plain routine. After all the tips, tricks, and styles, I end up doing the same stuff.

After a week's abstinence I took my tool for another inconsequential drive . Just another twist and turn, and finally an uhm moment. Yes, another cuddling moment, that's part of my married existence.

What makes sex novel, interesting, charging? How can I make her to dizzying heights through a different route? How do couples around me arouse innovation in this game? Am I alone struggling to find a better way, each time, or is it just a fleeting thought from this fella?

What happened to the sizzling thought I carried in my 20's. How can I connect to those dazzling days, when I went around the town bedding my girl friends?

Casual Meet at the Market

It never occurred to me that I'll chanced to get a bit close to this Marvari lady at Chickpet market. I had gone there to buy cards for my brother's marriage. It was busy Sunday at this place with people of all kinds milling in this wholesale market.

After buying the big stack of400 cards I was heaving both of my bags across the main road. While I stood to cross the road, one auto dashed against one bag sending it down on the dirty road. For a minute I thought the whole card is going for a waste. Luckily nothing happened.

Be Brave

Stand up, be bold, be strong! Strength is life, weakness is death.These lines from the great Hindu monk reviberated in me, giving me some hidden strength I never had before.

How can words influence your mind to act at a higher potential. How long does this stay? does it get carried forward to the next day....

How can I imprint these words to my every day action?

Chill Drive

It takes a 15 min ride to reach home. This time of the year, climate is slowing shifting to a pleasant chill weather. Most often I ride without any jacket. It gives my sleak body a welcome shudder. After a 9 hr haul at office, the prospect of riding to home - to the welcome warm hands of my spouce makes the day complete.

Scratch & Win

Wish life gave such simple options to succeed. Well it don't, u only get such ludicrous slips only at shopping malls or retail out lets.

Taking abt such retail marketing funds, life too has a lot to do with scratch and win. We daily rub our shoulders with folks at work, at Gym or at park but we hardly go beyond scratching their ass no souls. Most often we only get a little out of them or give little of us.

As life gets more thiker, dense, artificial, we cover ourself with a web of intricate thoughts and false visions. Hardly we let other peek into our real self

Delightful Start With a Bang

After a break in the sun lit Goa, I'm full of josh to turn a new leaf in life. So what do I plan to go full steam to make it a reality.

It all starts with planning, planning and planning. I'm a big time procrastinator, from work, to filing a PF form or to give a regular health check-up.

I've a simple plan. To jolt down the things to do for the day and DO IT. This I've attempted couple of times, but as days go by, my writing book is misplaced, and so does my plan.

But this time, I'm planning with iron clad commitment. I'm looking forward to build my sagging confidence too with my ardent desire to change.

I would love suggestions, comments and improvement tips or if you can exchange some notes to improve my drive

Last Sunday

Evening mass at St Partrick church has the usual tinge of sermon, crowd and prayer. In the end, it all looked the same. Priest was shouting, but his voice lacked clarity. I get to wonder if priest get an appraisal of their sermon? Do anyone tell them how boring or how it moved the congregation?

Why do priest disappear after they finish the mass? Why don't they come out & interact with the church goers?

Another question, how do they sexual gratification? without fornication, do they ** ? How many hold on to their vows?

How to Find New Interest In Marriage

Life moves from the fun & fiery filled bachelorhood to the static life of marriage life. Married life brings in an a rhythm, makes you more predictable. It's assured to bring lot of monotony and boredom.

Yesterday, while roaming with my wife at Forum Koramangala Bangalore , my thought dragged me ways to pep my marriage life.

• How can i bring excitement in life?
• How to meet more people in life?
• How to build new friends?
• How to socialize in Bangalore?
• How to pep up sex life?
• How to make weekend more productive?
• How to sustain a good hobby?
• How to engage in outdoor games?
• How to make new friends during weekends?

I wonder how people of my age group spend their weekends? Are they busy looking after their kids, house and thoughts about mortgage/aging? How does a fellow with little disposable income move in the social circles of Bangalore?

Street Fight Club Bangalore

For a small town fellow, the road rage in Bangalore was a shocker. Commuters in B'lore roads show violent behavior in the roads that's disturbing. I've seen numerous fights between car drivers, bike fellas and all these fights were for petty avoidable reasons.

Yesterday on the way to my office, I saw another fight on the road. I just had a glimpse of few guys having fist fight over some issue. It was crude fight and an old man too was getting blows. How can people become so violent over such mistakes while driving?

Can be blame it on the stress levels in Bangalore roads. Is it the selfish attitude of people, I me culture.

Life in Bangalore has changed from the laid back "pensioners" garden to the hectic fast paced life of BPO's and KPO's. Now there's no coming back, it's upto the people to bring bit more humaneness on the roads.

How can you bring a small change:

Honk less while driving - It reduces the heat on the road
Don't rush past - Anyways you have to wait for others at the next signal

Why Are Our Police Corrupt?

All is well as long a we're away from the long arm of LAW. In case we need to step inside the Police Station for any issues, right from Passport verification to any other complaints, we we get to see the greyer side of this department.

Couple of months back I had to vist hoysal to get a passport check for my Mom. These fellas, good at sniffing issues with her address etc made the case complicated. Since I did'nt want to prolong this task, I went for the easy way of pleasing this cop.

Yes, expected it and I gave to his gratification. 500 bucks to inside his khaki done away all the red-tape he was talking.

This makes me wonder what made these law enforcement people become just opposite of what our society wanted.

Few reasons I could find:

Underpaid & overworked

Lack of competency

Bad working conditions
Political interference in work
Low morale & lack of training
Long hours of work

Unorganized working/ Case reporting

Bad administration
Complicated working procedure

There are more to it, maybe you have better theories to the issue. Just like the Govt machinery, this department too stinks of corruption at all levels.

How can we take a step to improve the life of the Cop and make his work easier. Why not we digitalize lot more of his work, make it more transparent? Let make each of them more accountable for the torture ( latest) against innocent public.

Another suggestion is to make model police station which has all modern facilities like a top-notch BPO office. Good cafeteria, good gym, good recreation place, good library, 24/7 online connection facilicy, communication centre, organized working space, and finally put some good looking healthy female cops amidst them( sex ration 2:1).

Sex Drive Blues Away?

I'm not sure of this theory I've read somewhere or heard from someone. A recent happening made me probe on this topic.

I've a close friend who has a widowed sister. His sister is in her forties with one school going kid. She married early to a handsome, vibrant man. She has a great marriage life but her dream came to an end with his untimely death in 6 years of living together.

She had little formal education and after his death she became moody with mood swings. I have seen that dusky sister of my friend at different family occasions. She looks healthy with average looks and tempting figure.

Often my friend share his families effort to bring her back to a productive life. I too feel sorry to see her wasting her life, depending of her parents and siblings. Apart from that she is often falling sick, brooding with silly issues, facing low self confidence etc...

What can her way out to a better life, productive life and a happy life?

While there are many paths to break her misfortune but my theory is bit different like me.

It's all abt SEX. A good satisfying love life can take her blues and for it can usher positiveness and energy in life!

But the million dollar question? How can a widow who's not interested to remarry think of such a proposition. Answer to this rest of someone else or fate. If only a trusted, honest man can open her up to the pleasures of her body!

But I don't think that will happen in this life, unless she is damn lucky. She is living in a very close knit family, with very limited social life. Yes, an "inside man" can do it but there's danger of issues going out of her hand.

What's ur opinion on this? Will this work? Can she attain or reclaim her life with sex? Or is it just my naughty imagination corking such thoughts? Is there a way for widows and widowers to get satisfying sex? Is our society or immediate family doing anything to help them fulfill the basic need of life?

It's question for all of you? Has any study been done on the sex life of spouse after they loose their life partner?

Texting Gen!

I heard someone saying, that it only takes 3-5 years to make for a "generation gap", earlier it took a whole 2 to 3 decades. You too don't have to know it from me, just look around to see the fast changing life around you.

Old Land Phone Connection

I still vividly remember the time it took to get our land phone connection. After a long, long wait of over 3 years we got the phone in our living room. The excitement of hearing the phone ring in our living room was music to my ears. When guest came to visit our house, I wished the phone rang. The back log of getting connection also surface other elements to the telephone dept. Politicians had quota, telephone higher-ups could change your priority but all these now replaced by something new.

Now it's all history.Now it's the time for mobile phones to wipe away the influence of land phone.. Do you remember the time when a call to a girls house was considered tougher than crossing the great Berlin Wall.

I used to dread if the call is taken by her Dad, brother or her Mom. Most often, I disconnect the call if I found an unfamiliar "Hello" and many times, she had a bad cough and I mistook for her Mom.

Those little adventures of the BSNL/VSNL era now bite the dust. Now, school kids have mobile phones and SMS or video MMS of all weirdo kinds are circulated en masse. I wonder the impact of the young ones in India?

Well, it can spawn promiscuity among young people, easy relationship, easy s** talk and what not.

Life has changed for sure, the old values are gone and only remain in the soap operas and remains only in select few like me.

Bangalore Muted Night life

I still wonder why Police and Politicians in Bangalore are still hell bend on 11:30 deadline in pubs and hotels. Despite critical comments by socialites, social figures and the articles in press, the night limits are still maintained in Iron clad laws.

Has Bangalore changed for real? How and why did this happen? Whose idea was it to ban the otherwise liberal night life in Bangalore? Has this city been taken by fanatical Hindu politicians who has an agenda on hiduvata kind of lifestyle.

Little they know that the modern life has come to an point that the old values has gone by the drain. The nuclear family lifestyle, and the expat population in Bangalore has long abandoned the old values of Indian psyche. BPO, KPO, Call centers, IT and all kinds of new jobs has made life mechanical, monotonous and materialistic.

The current BJP Govt comes with fanciful ideas and I believe this deadline is one of them. One of their idea stemmed on insisting Kannada medium across the state, but it badly backfired. Thanks to the judiciary. But where is the judiciary in this case. How can they stay mute to such gross violation of fundamental right of a citizen.

I'm also surprised by the way they maintain this 11:30 deadline. The very same cops who will fleeze 10 rs bribe from a street vendor come to a pub to ensure that no one stays inside beyond the 11:30 hr. Pub owners also know this well and ensures it with last order by 11:00.

I feel India after 60 years of Independence should should allow it's citizen more freedom, more choice in life rather than limiting the life as per the diktat of the State.

I'm still looking for a proper answer on this ban. If someone can help on to find a logical answer then I'll be content with it. Why are cities like B'bay, or Delhi or Hyderabad enjoy much relaxed night life?

Another worrying aspect of such curfew is that it will lead youngsters to find other means to extend life. No one can stop the lifestyle changed, it will come up in other forms more potent and

in ways no one would like to see.

In the end, I can find solace that in few years down things will change, but at that time my pristine time would be lost in the dim of time.

Revolt, young men and Women of Bangalore. Ask they why?

life through the pedal

Cycling & exploring the bylanes, the small crowded street in Bangalore has never been been so interesting. Taking my own sweet time, I pedal & watch life happening around the lanes around CMH road. As i make way, I see shop keepers, young moms dragging their kids to play schools, empty barber shop, vegetable vendors, scooter mechanics, bar counters, temple pujaris offering their rhetoric pujas, men with crooked faces, sexy lasses with with largess buttocks and old ladies with glittering silver hair.

What a mix of colors, life and struggle in my neighborhood. These are all living in the fringes of our big society, struggling to attain what others in big mansions have achieved. Everyone is one walking up to improve life from what it was a day before.

I went to Ham Shop to buy pork and keema. They sell good quality meat, but I don't like the service. There is no smile on the face of fellow who runs it. Why does he always look growling? By can't this sucker pass a smile at the customers? Why don't he keep change before he start his day?

Why does any biz owner insist for change from customers when he or she can plan ahead to keep change?

Life for me moves in circles and I too pedal towards a better future, a future with more connections & people.

Anyone is welcome to share your thoughts with me. Mail me for my phone number. Let's chat, find new connections in life.

Absolut Weather

Started today with bit of shower & the cloud cover stayed on. Now sipping tea, I just ponder on the day ahead of me.

Yesterday while leaving my work cubicle, another question came over me.

• What's have I achieved for that day?
• Did I make the best use of that day?
• IS working for whole 9 hrs in front of a flat screen a worth a day in my life?
• Did I communicate with any individual on a human level?
• Did I make a new friend or talk to a new person?

Answers to all these are negative, meaning my life at my cubicle has given me no avenue to meet or share real thoughts. How can I afford to leave a day without doing nothing and I believe most of the folks around me are going through the same boredom in life.

Now the question, is there a way out of this digital life? How can spread my wings to make connection in life? Do you have suggestion for you, for you on how to find more meaning in work, life and a day in your life.

If you're feeling quite the same way as I do, then feel free to connect. After all life is just a brief journey and we are supposed to be human. Mail me and contact me through phone.

Another Sunday thought

Reached late for the Sunday mass at St Patrick church. First thing I did at the church was to locate a vacant space to park my ass. Most the seats were filled with all kinds of believers and I took a chance to walk across to spot a vacant slot. I came to a place where 4 people were sitting and I managed to sit between two ladies. : )

Sitting between two middle aged beautiful ladies was a big distraction. I could hardly hear what the preacher's sermon. One point he said struck a chord - " don't come to church just for the sake of coming". Well he has a real point, and folks like me just come in with a distracted mind and leave equally distracted.

At communion time, my fav retired preacher, the one who looks like a Roman Emperor came to open the cabinet to take out the stainless steel box with the communion. This Sunday, I took the communion, just b'cos to please the people sitting next me .

The last hymn for this mass was sung by Mark, and I got goosebumps just listening to his voice.

Time spend In Your CAR

Recently on my way to office I waited in the Bangalore traffic snarl near to Forum mall, Koramangala. . While waiting, my eye wandered inside a car idling next to my scooter. There was a middle aged couple inside the car, and they were looking lost in their own thoughts.

This got me thinking on different ways to spend inside the four wheeler, esp while going for the routine travel.

What all things can you do while you’re with your spouse or with a comfortable member of opposite sex.

• Play naughty
• Play with each other’s hands
• Listen to a podcast, copy the file and play in the car
• Sing a song
• Talk to yourself

• By heart a poem
• Shout to your heart’s content
• Swear abt your boss
• whistle to a song
• Think of to-do list
• Talk abt life’s pressing problems
  
  
• Crack a chess puzzle (Mate in 5 moves)
• Think of ideas to give back to the world
• Drive traffic without honking
• Smile or laugh loudly
• Tell your partner to sing loudly

I've run out of ideas, so why don't u pitch in your thoughts on it. Sometimes, I wish had a four wheeler to do some of these acts.

For those who have the privilege of owning a car, please enjoy your time at the wheel..

Addition link on how to make sex in your car

Lucky Day

A cop barely missed out from stopping my scooter. Yes, that's lucky for me, or I have to shell out the little dough remaining in my account.

These cops are sly fellas waiting to pounce on miserable folks like me and you. Most often I feel pity for the small time guys being caught by the cops. The kinds of Cops you find in B'lore are mostly mad at draining money from hapless owners.

I wish I have some tip to help you wriggle out from a Cop. One big thing that helps if you're in B'lore is to talk in Kannada. Esp for outsider, it helps a lot. When they see you struggling with your half-bred kannada words, their language with spout giving you a slip from your

Difference is Not Skin Deep

Today I went to submit few bills at Canara Bank and at HDFC, situated in the same street. Both banks has different interiors, different kind of personality, people, staff and even the kind of security.

This got me to think of good, grey and dull points about these two banks. I've listed few points and few suggestions for our old-time bankers.

HDFC Bank

• Glass doors, well lit interiors
• Beautiful ladies in the counters
• Smart young manager
• Dressed perfectly
• Clean, neat and organized
• Fleece you with additional payment at every service point
• Sometimes very sterile & impersonal ( like a snobbery/money mindedness)

Canara Bank

• Crowded at the disbursement counter
• People waiting for their turns
• Dim interior
• Underutilized floor space
• Older employees
• Ladies don't tempt me wrong
• Cash counter in a iron mesh
• More people from the middle class and lower income group (my kind)
• Ask a stupid question and the teller will frown

While the public sector banks work for the common man, the other flashy ones like ICICI, or HDFC serve more creamy layer of the society. I wonder if that's making all the difference or it it the general attitude of the bank..

Why don't Canara bank or SBI pull up their sleeves to give the common man a better service a better teller to make the experience enjoyable.

There could be several reasons. One is the lack of money, the management styles, organization structure or it's just their nature to be like this.

What can you do to make your interaction with the bank an interesting and pleasant experience.

what Govt banks can do:

• An assistant on the floor ( an usher ) Esp, when old folks come in
• Put a sexy broad with a pleasant smile at the teller counter
• Optimize the sign-in forms ( some changes)
• Educate customer to use online service
• Cross-sell other services through in-house marketing agent ( esp housing, personal loan, gold loan)

Oh, my steam has run out. Pls do help our older gen banks to compete and thrive in the new world.

Holy Saturday!

First half of Saturday was wasted with some household chorus and half way through my Activa broke down. What a way to start a weekend.

And on a fine Saturday morning, I pushed my scooter all the way to my scooter Garage. I didn't wait over there instead walked to the near by store to instill my spirits with a hot cup of tea.

This takes me back to my fav question, how to spend the weekend, the most productive way.

what are the common answers you get in your mind.

• Watch movies at home or at any theater
• Call friends and renew ties
• Clean the windows, doors or places that's normally left out
• Buy and stock all provisions for the week
• Pay all credit card bills on time
• Pay rent & pay wages to maid
  
  
  
• Visit local events/exhibitions
• Visit local friends/relatives
• Got to a local club and play snooker or play badminton
  
  
  
• Make love to your partner or have phone sex or flirt
• Visit any malls and spend wisely
• Go to coffee day and spend an hour with a 45 rs coffee
• Go to commercial for window shopping
• Visit some lake side and spend some time enjoying the wind
  
  
• Got to Lal Bagh and sleep in the green grass
• Got to a nearby pub and enjoy a chill beer

How do you spend your weekends? Do you spend it productively? Are you enjoying the brief break with sleep and equal doze of TV? Are you doing something different?